This is the paper I have been freaking out about.

Five pages on this prompt. We are supposed to answer it after reading the "Fight Club" book:

"You are Raymond K. Hessel. Report of your life after your chance encounter with Tler Durden. Shomehow bring your talk about to how you have extrapolated Tyler's way of looking at the world based solely on that encounter. Use the book."

For some reason this is really hard for me. :(

Sorry about the influx of posts! I am very talkative now.

North Carolina State University has a study abroad program in Prague, Czech Republic for INDUSTRIAL DESIGN students.

<3

I DON'T want to write this paper.
It was due a week ago. One week, one adderall, and I still can't manage to get past one page of this paper. It's not a matter of perfectionism, my writing is already fragmented as it is, it's just NOT being able to relate to the point of view that I have to write this paper from, and waiting too long to do it.

and it's TOO BRIGHT outside to write! wtf! are there any DARK places on campus? I can only write where it is dark because I'm so used to writing papers at freakin' 1 AM. FUCK this "Write in a well-lit quiet place" bullshit. Maybe I'll go to Crossroads, it is dark there.

I had a very weird dream last night......


I was watching the TV with my mom and dad. There was a commercial on for a new drug from GlaxoSmithKline called 'hyperprogesterone'. (Incidentally, progesterone is the hormone of pregnancy)

Anyway, they were advertising this drug as a miracle drug, but it was meant to cure depression. It also said: Effective against cancer, AIDS, homoesexuality (LOL), diabetes, and "Kwashiorkor". 50% chance of curing these diseases with every dose.

So I went into the kitchen, and mom had bought multiple packs of this medicine. People were hoarding this stuff. So, I take four times the reccomended dose. (because it's a dream and I can do that without dying.)

I was looking at a map of the world. I heard a strange noise and all other continents except for Africa disappeared and started to boil. The ocean around Africa was now a giant boiling mud pit. Then Africa started to grow horizontal-wise and move more north on the map. The world was a giant desert now and there were only two creatures on the planet.

There was a rhino and a turtle. The turtle was sick because there was no more water and wanted to go to the sea or a river to cover himself in water again. The rhino was mad at the turtle (I don't know why). I heard the weird noise again and the boiling mud hardened and rivers started to appear below africa. The rhino hardened into metal and became a big statue where Botswana is and the turtle went into the river. Then, Africa became a place of bounty, even in the deserts, fruit trees grew everywhere, and creatures repopulated the continent.

heaven? hell? delirium? I don't know!
in any case, it is weird as fuck-all.

I feel like i've taken some kind of crazy drug. But no, it's just beer and anxiety. I am scared.

Maddie: Hi. :)

Translation: Maddie: I acknowledge your presence. You make me want to die a little.

This is one of my favorite holidays! The jokes have been very good so far today. keep it up, guys.

My favorite so far?
Gmail "Custom Time"!

I'm thinking about starting up a health page for ASU students, reviewing the food in the cafeteria and the 'health food' drinks in the market. I am genuinely concerned about the health of students here. I think they have a right to know what's in their food but also to know what's really healthy, outside of a biased opinion.

I've always been passionate about health food and nutrition but not enough to do anything with it besides preaching the good news and health benefits of beets and grapefruits.

--

Also, I gain $30 through unscrupulous means, and I forget to clock in to work and lose $30. Such is the ebb and flow of life. In the end, one breaks even!

--

I catch word of someone I know with cancer all over their body. Their skin is grey. All the time my mom is telling me this, I think how cool it would be to see them with grey skin. Am I a bad person? It's just really hard for me to care about people I barely know.

Drag show. Julia's. Then maybe Ryan's.
Wooooh! I haven't been this social in weeks.
It's time to busy out my party shirt.
The shirt I have on in the picture.
RED
VERTICAL
STRIPES!

Sorry I haven't been here in a while. :(
I have had Easter break and a lot of papers to write.
Now, I am writing a paper about the book Fight Club.
I have to write 5 pages from the viewpoint of Tyler Durden. It is a dangerous thing. There's a fine line between being in character and substituting my own ideas in. The latter can get really out of control.

There's a fine line again between impressing the teacher with an astoundingly in-character monologue and disgusting him. "Unacceptable."

Today is Easter. My family is not religious, so my dad is at work today, mom went to church a little, and I stayed home to cook. I made deviled eggs and diced potatoes for potato salad, or kugel, I don't know what my mom is making with those. I don't know why she wants to make a Jewish dish! But I'm not complaining, Jewish food is very good.

I was going over the Myspace profiles of my high school friends and it was very funny. Some are pregnant, some are engaged, some have just come out as gay. There is nothing wrong with that but I think it's funny when people first come out as gay, that's all they are. Everything they do has something to do with them being gay. Most their friends are gay or 'allies'. Hehehehehe!

I had a neat experience a while ago. I found a Russian person who had been studying English about as long as I have been studying Russian. We had a conversation. I thought it was neat that we knew enough words in common to say something meaningful to each other.

Yay!

мне холодно.
I don't like being home because my mom always puts the temperature to about 68 degrees. I like cold weather, but I also like to be warm inside, you know?

Ы

привет, мои друзья!

я занят. буду писать в блоге скоро.

ыыыыы...до завтра.

Is it understandable?

EDIT: I saw my spelling mistake in the title. >>

Shit, I need to chill out. But sometimes, things happen, very insignificant things that end up making the rest of your day an introspection-fest and really cause you to question the answers.
And then you realize, the answer to the question is incomplete, or you didn't answer the question at all. You have given an unacceptable amount of thought to life and you emerge from it with a C.

And then you say, "What the fuck, self, that was SO unnecessary!" and then you come to the conclusion that the world is much more multi-faceted than you once thought, or worse, the world is JUST AS multi-faceted as you thought before.

Then you see the face of someone you hold dear, smiling and being playful despite a bruised coccyx and everything's fine, and life goes on, but you are aware of the multifacetedness of it all just a bit more.

I did my best!

--

So yeah! That was a nice story of my day.
I have been learning Russian at an astronomical pace lately thanks to my chats with a native Russian. It helps a lot.

I have a lot to do. I will not be updating or answering messages until tomorrow at around 4:00 pm at the EARLIEST. Work/class/meeting with professor/lunch/cleaning up!

Today was nice, but my mind was not. The weirdest stuff kept popping up in my head, all day. It started before going to Sociology class, this outrageous thinking. I was walking behind a couple of girls that had perfume on. But something was not right with my nose, or something. The more I smelled it, the more it lost its sweet smell and the more I smelled chemicals! Those girls smelled like chemicals! It reminded me that somewhere, in Taiwan, there are Barbies and dildos rolling off the same conveyor belt out of the same inject-filled plastic molds. It reminded me of the fragile nature of innocence, and then the distended, bloated bellies of the poorest children in the world, the rejected children weaned from their mother's breast. I have these trains of thoughts all the time, but they're usually not this disturbing.

I think it came from finishing the book "Fight Club" yesterday. I probably would have been perfectly happy for the rest of my life if I had not read that book.

To-Do List:
Study for Theater midterm
Write paper on 'The Exonerated'
Write something else that I cant remember right now oh yeah the english paper.

Yeah, things have been pretty crazy around here lately. Not enough time to do much of anything!

So, I found this on some random guy's LJ, who is the boyfriend of someone I barely know. Weirddd.

Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random.
The article title is the name of your band.
(Stadium Metallurg 1st District)

Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3.
The final words of the last quote on your page are the title of your album.
("Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.")

Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The FOURTH image on the page is your album cover.
You can choose to go to http://www.flickr.com/groups/flickrsocial/pool/
if you prefer a more dynamic, less philosophical cover.



In the comments your friends will tell you what kind of music you play and the name of the album's single.

My Band: Stadium Metallurg 1st District
Album: They Do So
Album Cover:


( Read more... )

New Band Name: CABYR
Album Title: But they never break
Album Cover:

Today consisted of going to Ryan's house, where a lot of crazy awesome stuff went on.

His mom made really freaking awesome organic Greek food.  It was possibly the best food I have had in a LONG time.  Chicken with some sauce, homemade bread with rosemary butter, vegetable soup, vegetables, feta cheese, olives, and baclava for dessert.  I am FULL.

We went adventuring to this old man's property where a really old tobacco barn sits.  Ryan had encountered a wild animal in there earlier, so being the dumb kids we are, we decided to go back and see if it was still there out of curiosity.  We decided that we could probably take a wild cat, so we went at it armed with rotted sticks and rocks.  Nothing was there, but it was still cool and creepy.

We came back and watched Tron, a really good 80's movie.

When I came back home, my messenger bag and checkbooks had arrived.  Yay!
And by next weekend, my debit card and books from Barnes and Noble will have arrived.
I finally spent those gift certificates from Barnes and Noble I got for Christmas.
What did I get? AutoCAD2008 for Dummies, Basic Electronics, 501 Russian Verbs and this grammar book I've been hearing people talk about.

With free shipping.  Oh yeah.

I'm tired.

Today was accompanied by a general sense of well-being, though I had a terrible nightmare last night.

I did a lot of shopping today for stuff I needed. Got some new spring clothes, (I have finally outgrown all my 9th grade+ clothes) cheap organic oatmeal and vitamin water at Big Lots, and some workout clothes out of my dismay of growing out of my old clothes, and because I'm supposed to hit the gym with Alyssa when I get back. Woot!

It felt REALLY GOOD outside today and i got the SWEETEST text from Ryan, which was the cause for my jolly mood today. As a result of jolly mood, I created a few words between talking to Mary Beth and Morganne, which I will now present to you out-of-context:
-condumb
-sarcasmometer
-breakfastivore
-efex
-birfkontrow

After watching an episode of Nanny 911, dad taught me the fine art of omelet-making. It requires butter (milk solids) and some kind of oil (olive/corn, margarine) in a medium-high heat pan.

I like doing this test. I go back every six months or so and retake it, just to see how I've changed. Might hyperlink to the old test on EBTB if I can find it.

I really want a cleaner layout. I also need some friends, but the only person I know with a LJ is my boyfriend, and I have no idea what his LJ is.

Uh... so yeah. I'm already bored of being home, already mad at my parents. I know that's a very Live Journal thing to say, but it's true. I am reminded every time I come home exactly why I do not like coming home. Mom heckles me and reminds me to do EVERYTHING... things that I would have done anyway even if she didn't tell me about them. Uuuuugh.

Anyway, Zach's coming over today with Nick, possibly. We're going to pick up Jonathan from school and then fun will probably ensue.

As an only child, it has affected me a lot. At a young age, surrounded by adults and books without any peer companionship until I started kindergarten, I developed habits that would set me apart from most other children.

First of all, I became really good at entertaining myself. I was quiet and content with reading a book, even if I understood half the words and the subject matter made no sense to me. I was very introverted and started to create my own little world. I made blanket tents over random articles of furniture in the living room and holed up in them, reading old 'Fox Fire' books and star charts by flashlight. Not sure if this has anything to do with being an only child or not, but I developed some pack-rat tendencies, collecting colorful things like office supplies, arranging them by color, and hoarding them in my tent. I was selfish with my things but its something I grew out of later.

I deal with boredom very well, and seldom get lonely. As a result of being without siblings, I had relatively quiet and peaceful childhood, without all the go-go-go nonsense that kids are subjected to today. It also helped that my mom was a 'stay at home' mom and I didn't do much outside of school. I'm also stubborn and non-competitive.

Being around adults all day made me more interested in adult affairs and mannerisms. I carried around notebooks and binders entitled "Important Documents" and began to prefer the company of adults over that of my peers.

Do I feel like I missed out on something? No, no more than someone with a sibling feels like they missed out on being an only child. My childhood was just different, not necessarily missing out on something. I suppose if I did have a sibling, I would be closer to my family, and would have had a companion besides myself when things got rough. I could have gone for the elusive unconditional love provided by a brother or sister, but it's taught me to depend on myself before all others.

I had to work on my social skills and selfish tendencies, but I've gotten better and now consider myself a bit outgoing and selfless. That taught me that nothing that happened to you in the past has significant influence on what you're capable of until you let it. I can't stand people who let some past event outside of their control completely dominate who they are. They start to blame every one of their faults on that one event, and they're miserable. Not me.

All in all, I consider myself a positive case of only-child syndrome.

I'm home!
And kind of neutral about it.
It was very hard leaving Ryan in Boone and I hope he comes home ASAP.

I really need to take a break from school stuff. In particular, Theatre and Empires (those are some ROUGH classes). Plus, I'll be doing some really important financial thingies at the local BB&T. I'll also make an appointment for my passport application this Saturday because I AM GOING TO RUSSIA IN THE SUMMER OF TWO THOUSAND AND NINE.

I hope I'm ready by the time Summer '09 rolls around. I'll have two years of hardcore Russian lessons and the money to follow through with it by then.

Sometimes I'm feeling so good about what I know of Russian so far, either I'll make a grammatically correct sentence up off the top of my head to exactly express what I want to say, or a native Russian will compliment me on my pronunciation, or Barclay will tell me <<молодец>>.

And sometimes my spirit is crushed by hearing Russians speaking so fast I don't know what they're saying, or Barclay will pile on the lessons so fast I don't know what's going on.

Ready or not, I'm getting on a plane sometime in the summer of 2009. I've promised too many people to chicken out. Not like I'd want to deprive myself of this awesome experience anyway. I've always wanted to travel. I've always wanted to travel to Russia. I can't wait! But I'm not ready now.

--

Zach and Jonathan crack me up. You know the taffy I got them from the beach last summer? They're just now starting to eat it. "It's hard as rocks. Jonathan loves it." - Zach.

Note to self: You owe Zach $7.

--


I'm getting this awesome messenger bag...

http://www.amazon.com/rtc9139-Khaki-BIO-HAZARD-Vintage-Bag/dp/B000AUKUP0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1205107535&sr=1-1